Valmont's Very Merry Christmas
by Moonlight Shadow
Summary: Insanity regins. Lotsa new people introduced.
1. Chapter 1

Yes, I KNOW it's past Christmas, but I was busy. Oh yeah, I'm calling myself Ali-chan in this.  
  
Valmont's Very Merry Christmas  
  
Valmont glared at his reflection in the mirror, or rather, the Dragon face over his reflection.  
"Shendu, it's almost CHRISTMAS right now. Hurry up with the Demon releasing!"  
Suddenly his face contorted and his eyes glowed red.  
"Patience, Valmont! Opening Demon Portals take time! And what is this 'Christmas' that you speak of?"  
"You don't know what Christmas is, Shendu?" Ratso asked as he, Finn, Chao, and Hack Foo entered the room to hear Shendu's last remark.  
"There was no such thing as this 'Christmas' you call the last time I checked," Shendu's voice growled from Valmont's mouth. The blood-red eyes suddenly faded into pale blue eyes as Valmont asked "And how long ago was that, Shendu?"  
Red eyes again.  
"Five thousand years ago."  
Valmont opened his mouth to reply when he started to feel a faint buzz. It had been going on for the last five minutes, but it was barely before. Now it was getting stronger, making his bones hum to the core, and getting stronger every minute. Valmont, Ratso, Finn, and Hack Foo all collapsed on the ground, barely standing the buzz. Suddenly with a POOF the buzzing stopped and everyone was enveloped in a light bluish-silver fog. Everyone started coughing and by the time the fog cleared, a figure in red stood in the middle of the room.  
"Ho ho-ARH!!! STUPID PILLOW!!!" The figure screamed as a pillow under the red jacket trimmed with white fuzz fell out. Shendu/Valmont and everyone else stared. They had never seen anyone else like her, or never will. She was wearing a santa suit with a pillow under it to make her look 'fat', but the pillow, as they could see, just kept on falling out. She had a fluffy white beard on her chin that was pulled down, a Santa hat at a crooked angle, and a...GIANT BAG FULL OF TOYS!!!  
"YAY!" Ratso cheered and immidietly dived in it, pulling out various kinds of toys.  
"Ooo! A Gameboy Advance! And Mario Advance! And... YAY!!! IT'S BARBIE'S BEETLE!!" He immidietly pulled a Barbie dressed in bright pink from somewhere, and started driving her around in the pink Beetle. The girl now took out a light blue pen and started shaking it. When that didn't work she began stomping on it.  
"Um... Who are you? And what are you doing?" Valmont asked.  
"I'm Ali-chan. I'm a authoress who's going around for Christmas as Santa Claus. I'm stomping on my authoress pen because I think it's broken." She said as she kept on stomping on her pen. Suddenly it shot out a turquise-blue beam at Barbie, frying her to crisp.  
"WAAAAAAHHHH!!!!" Ratso bawled. Ali-chan stared at the pen.  
"It's broken!" She declared.  
"And how do you know that?" Hak Foo asked.  
"It's not supposed to do that. So that means..." at this she ran over to Valmont and hugged him. Hard. "...I GET TO STAY WITH YOU!!!"  
Valmont looked like he was going to die. Or maybe it was the lack of Oxygen. 


	2. Chapter 2

Valmont's Very Merry Christmas  
  
While Ratso sat bawling on the floor as he prepared the funeral for his fried Barbie, Finn and Chow were betting many more minutes before Valmont turned blue by Ali-chan's glomping, and Hack Foo stood in the corner because the authoress didn't have any use of him yet.  
  
Five minutes later...  
  
Valmont's face had turn the most lovely color of blueberry blue.  
"Ha! I win! You owe me fifty bucks now!" Finn exclaimed. Chow grumbled as he handed over the money, Hack Foo found out that he needed to clean his fingers, and Ratso was wearing a black frilly dress for his deceased Barbie. At this point, Shendu decided to take over.  
"Get her off me you buffons, or I will fry you to crisp!" he hissed through Valmont's teeth. Hack Foo, Finn, and Chow all looked at each other, nodded and would have tackled Ali-chan off had not Ratso (Still in his mourning gown) bumped the toy sack and made a dingling noise.  
"Oh yeah! THE PRESENTS!!!" she shrieked and disapeared from Valmont's side to reappear at the bag of presents. Hack Foo, Finn, and Chow all tackled into a heap on Valmont, knocking the remaining breath out of him. Ali-chan meanwhile dug through the bag. It looked like a plain and innocent looking red bag, smaller than Ali-chan and seemed only to carry about ten smallish presents. What they did not expect was Ali-chan to fall in it and then haul a SUV out of it, complete with a bow and a tag saying "For my beloved Valmont, From (Here was the easer marks, with the words Ali-chan still visible under them) Santa Claus".  
"Uhhh... Thanks.. I think..." Valmont said as he managed to wriggle his way out of the football heap. As he got in the drivers seat (With the car keys in the car-keys ignition-thingie), turned on the car, Shendu's curiousty overcame his desire to be unavialible while Ali-chan was still around.  
"What is this?" he hissed as he pressed a button on the steering wheel... Which was the horn. Immidietly it started to honk out the Jackie CHan Adventures theme song, scaring the heck out of Shendu, who jumped up and bonked his head on the roof, rendering him unconcious in the drivers seat.  
Nobody noticed.  
Ali-chan had thrown out four video-shaped brightly wrapped presents (If you consider gorey pictures of Ali-chan sticking Lolipop spears through various people bright...). The four enforcers all caught them properly except for Ratso, who did not notice his new present, and was whacked in the head by it, making him the second person so far to be unconcious.  
Finn opened his video.  
"Yay!!! Barney's Christmas Surprise!"  
Chow opend his video.  
"Yay!!! The Teletubbies Special Christmas episodes!"  
Hack Foo had already opened his video and was sniffling happily.  
"::Sniff:: HOW TO GET IN TOUCH WITH YOUR FEMININE SIDE!!! I have always wanted this as a little boy..." he cried as he hugged the video to his chest.  
Chow and Finn sweatdropped. Their sweatdropping was interrupted by Ali-chan's screaming from the bag "ELLY! DOUGHNUT! RENAMON! ARTICUNO! How did you guys get here?" 


	3. Chaos Regins

Valmont's Very Merry Christmas  
  
Chow and Finn stared as Ali-chan got out of the bag with four other girls. One was wearing a t-shirt and pants that showed about 90% of her body, one looked normal, and the other two wore what looked like some kind Pokemon and Digimon trainer outfit.  
"Ummm.... Who are they?" Chow pointed at Ali-chan's companions. He hoped that they were all noraml and not insane like Ali-chan. His hope was wasted. Ali-chan smiled as she introduced her friends.  
"THIS," she pointed to the one in the revealing outfit, "is our leader, Elly." Elly looked the Enforcers, mouth pursed, in a way they really didn't like.   
"Those two," she pointed at the two in a Digimon and Pokemon trainer outfits who waved at the concious Enforcers "are Articuno and Renamon."  
"Er, who's she?" Finn pointed to the normal-looking one, praying that she was as normal as she looked. Ali-chan smiled very evilly.  
"THAT is Doughnut."  
"Ummm... Why is she called Doughnut?" Hak Foo realized what a mistake that was as he finished asking the question.  
"Show them," Ali-chan told Doughnut. Doughnut pulled out a doughnut on a stick, held it above her head, and yelled "Doughnut Mutation! Magical Recall!" Immidietly they were blinded with flashing lights and glitter. When the flashing lights and glitter disappeared, Doughnut stood there. Except that she was now dressed in doughnuts. The whole group suddenly struck a pose.  
"We are..." Ali-chan said.  
"The one..." Articuno chimed.  
"And only..." Renamon added.  
"The BBS!" Doughnut yelled.  
"BIG BOOBS OF STEEL!!!" Elly shouted.  
The two Enforcers face-vaulted. And then from the bag came "NO CURSING!!!". Ali-chan's ears perked up.  
"Vivia-" she started to say but was cut off.  
"DON'T SAY MY REAL NAME!!!"  
"O-kay, Vivi-chan!" Ali-chan said happily.  
"DON'T CALL ME THAT!!!"  
Ali-chan scratched her head.  
"Then what DO I call you?"  
"Vivi."  
"Ooo! Ya mean like that short midget dude from Final Fantasy 9?"  
"NO!!!" Just then, another voice came from the bag.  
"It's hoooooooot in heeeeeereeeee..."  
Ali-chan dove into the bag and pulled out a asian boy and girl.  
"K'vin! And Vivi!" she exclaimed. The pair sweatdropped.  
"What's with K'vin?" the boy asked. Ali-chan shrugged.  
"I dunno!" was all she said. Valmont choose this time to regain conciousness.  
"YAY! MY LITTLE V-CHAN HAS FINALLY AWAKENED!!!" Ali-chan then pounced on the groggy Valmont and knocked him out of view from the other people. However, they could hear quite clearly.  
"Argh! Argh! Get offa me!!!"  
"*Giggle*"  
"Stop kissing me- ARGH!!! PUT YOUR SHIRT BACK ON!!!"  
"You know you want this V-chan..."  
"NO I DON'T!!!"  
"Don't deny it!"  
"I AM I AM I AM!!!"  
Elly then walked over to the car and started chewing out on Ali-chan.  
"PUT YER SHIRT BACK ON!!! Only iI/i can do that!"  
Elly then grabbed Ali-chan's ear and yanked her out.  
"I wanna go hooooooomeeee..." K'vin whined, looking very nervous. Ali-chan's eyes lit up as she remembered something.  
"WHERE'S THAT BOOK YOU PROMISED ME?!?!?"  
K'vin looked around despertly then tried to jump out the window. He fell flat on his face.   
"MINE!!!"  
The other three enforcers looked up to see Ratso (Still in drag) racing towards the VCR and TV.  
"NO!!! Angry crow takes flight!"  
The remaning two officers sweatdropped at the scene before them. Ali-chan was chasing K'vin, Vivi was chasing both of them yelling at them to calm down, and Hak Foo was getting into a cat fight with Ratso.  
"Seems mighty quiet today..." Elly remarked.  
Chow and Finn facevaulted. 


End file.
